We’ve all had that experience- regretting something we’ve said in the heat of emotion or when we were distracted or not aware of who would hear us. Words are powerful and, although we may retract them, they often leave a memory, a mark that doesn’t fade as easily as we’d like.
Being aware of what we say is important on a personal and professional level. Our relationships matter and a person we may be upset with today may be the person we work with tomorrow.
Here are some thoughts and suggestions to keep in mind as you chose your words with others:
We all have feelings and emotional reactions whether it’s obvious to others or not
Words can hurt in the moment and be used to hurt again in the future
Remember the ways you’ve been hurt by what others have said
Less is more- if possible wait until you feel less upset before you speak or speak briefly
Try to express yourself simply and clearly when you feel emotional
Make sure you really understand what the other person is saying – ask for clarification and listen
Remember the power of the words you choose – be fair to the other person
No one is perfect and we all can improve in our communication. As a coach, people most often report the problems they encounter in personal and professional relationships due to things that were said. We can reduce our stress, improve our relationships and build confidence by the the words we chose .
People are struggling right now and the answers seem to be in the areas where we have the most problems: self discipline. Why is it so hard to manage our day to day, to stay focused on what’s important, to make our lives’ better?
Few of us have developed true discipline-the ole ‘do it if you want to or not’ kind of mindset that helps us achieve all the hard things from losing weight to finding a new job and a healthy relationship. It a simple concept that is so difficult to put into play.
My advice is this: we each have our #1 goal-take one step toward it TODAY, nomatter what else gets in the way. If you forget about it and remember at midnight, take one step ANYWAY. Life is too short to wait and we are too impatient as people to allow ourselves to go another day, week, year without feeling good about the life we’re creating.
Maybe we’ve all had that feeling – that life has taken us to unexpected places, that we can count our unfufilled dreams, that our relationships are ‘ok’ or even less and that we we’ve lost hope in our ability to create a better life.
Why is this a common experience? I think that whether or not we plan our lives to take a certain direction or to achieve a particular outcome, that what we can’t plan are the unforeseen circumstances and choices we will encounter. In many ways this is a good thing! How boring would life be if there weren’t challenges or surprises? What if all that we dreamed of as a child or young adult came to pass? I guess alot more of us would be working at the circus or being race car drivers or presidents of the United States.
Thankfully our experiences teach us something more, something about life and who we are and want to become. And thankfully the process of becoming is never ending, the choice is whether we embrace it – or not.
I personally count myself in the category of people who have made more mistakes than I care to admit, many of which were life changing and, at times, filled with pain. I’d like to say I see all the lessons in those experiences and have made myself a better and better person because of it but that’s not the case. Sometimes I have learned, sometimes I didn’t get it, sometimes I didn’t take responsibility for my choices and sometimes I endlessly beat myself up. However one that that has happened, time and again, is that I have developed courage and strength.
So where have you ‘ended up’? What have you truly learned about choices, decisions, consequnces, trusting your ‘heart and your head’, being brave?
In each moment we can decide again- to affirm or change our direction. Where is it you want to do in your life? What seems to be holding you back? What is the real truth of why you’re not where you want to be?
Give yourself credit and recognize your strength! Do something now that will change the sense of ending up to a sense of creating the life you want. One step towards what you want is one step away from where you are. Be brave and take the challenge now.
One reason we seem to feel bored, uninspired or just plain ‘blah’ is we imagine that we lack happiness. It’s a very common feeling and one that plagues some people more than others over the course of their lifetime.
But the first question is ‘what is happiness?’.
Sometimes it’s easier to answer this question with what happiness is not. No one wants to be unhealthy, poor, worried, unloved, without a home yet there is more to this equation.
Happiness is hard to describe-it seems to be the sum of many things yet also something more. It can be a feeling or a state of mind. We can notice it in our hopes and dreams. It can be something we visit in our past. One thing happiness is not is a destination. There is no road sign that says “Welcome to Happiness!”. How do we know when we’re hiding behind the search for happiness as an excuse not the create our lives?
I believe happiness occurs when we do our very best. It often is most powerful when we act unselfishly. We can feel happy when we’re aware of the wonders of our life and of our world. When we improve ourselves and overcome struggles we can also feel happy. But can we feel happy during hardships? If so, how does this all work?
